Fall is my favority time of year. With Shakespeare, I love seeing the yellow leaves shake against the cold of bare ruined choirs. With the cold of winter coming upon us, recently I have been craving motzah ball soup. My sinuses call out for good motzah ball soup.
So I went to my three favorite places where I know I can get top-grade, soul-warming, bone-soothing, motzoh ball soup: East Side Kosher Deli, 499 S. Elm Street, in Glendale; Zaidy's at 121 Adams in Cherry Creek; and New York Deli News at 7105 East Hampden in Southeast Denver. An auditor should be able to measure the quality and size of things, so in this brief commentary, I will measure the size of the motzoh balls in the motzoh ball soups in those wonderful establishements.
The Schribers at East Side Kosher Deli, who provide genuine kosher meals for Denver's prisons, mix up a great soup with lots of chicken in the broth. Their balls compare in size to snooker balls and are tender to the taste. When slepping, I mean, slurping their delicious soup, I alway proudly order "two balls please."
Zaidy's boasts balls about the size of tennis balls accompanied by a generous portion of chunks of chicken and piping hot broth. One ball is enough. Rumor has it the Rudofsky's use less oil and more water in their good sized motzah balls. Working for the city, I always order chopped liver with the soup, because lots of us who work at the city can identify with chopped liver.
But New York Deli News wins the prize for size. And who says size does not count, especially when it comes to motzoh balls. The Belsky's bring you a bowl of soup crowned with a very large knaydalach, Yiddish for dumpling, a motzoh ball the size of a large soft ball. You need only order one. I wondered if the ball would be cooked all the way through, because when I try to make motzoh ball soup, the inside never seems to cook thoroughly and they always fall apart into a mush. Belsky's chef cooks the balls all the way through and they are very springy. Senator Joyce Foster told me I was smushing my matzoh balls too tightly, and that I should use seltzer water not plane tap water. Another rabbi friend told me to mix the eggs more into a froth, that might help. I told Mr. Belsky, this New York deli does not have a real New York atmosphere, the waiters treat you much too nice. "You've had enough smaltz, you big slemiel, get your tochis out of here. We have another customer waiting." Belsky commented without a beat. Belsky is no schmendrick, that's for sure.
So as the Welcome Arch in front of Union State used to say: Mitzpah." And if we will ever see it again with all the buildings stuffed in front, "Mitzvah," Hebrew for "May the Lord look after our coming and our going, until we meet again." Or at least may we be blessed with health and good sinuses until we try our next delicious bowl of matzoh ball soup.